


ハンサムな探偵対倒錯スケルトン Battle of Pervert Sans!

by Deempe



Category: Hotline Miami (Video Games), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: "Hey, Angst, F/M, FUCK THAT DO IT ANYWAY, Female Frisk, Frisk dies and comes back to life one time, Hey, I do not apologize for this, I love every bit this, M/M, Manny Pardo - Freeform, Oh God Yes, POV Third Person, Please just don't not read this, Please send all death threats to Recycle Bin, Possessive Sans, Sans Has Issues, Sexual Tension, Who's the Third Person? You of course!, YOU CAN'T DENY MY GIRTH, You know what maybe not read this, and I'm ready to see you drive! Get those coins out of your pocket, and let's get started! CRAZY TAXI!", don't act dumb, hey! Are you ready to have some fun? I got some kicking music, sans is sad, self hatred, there is so much self-loathing here as well, throw them in the machine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 11:40:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6564730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deempe/pseuds/Deempe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sans was a weak, hateful, pathetic little skeleton, but this kid was proving to be stronger than he could ever believe. When Sans had just about given up, the human was still filled with love and determination."</p>
<p>In which Sans is sick, and wrong, and messed up, and terrible, and develops a strong infatuation towards Frisk.</p>
<p>"We need someone to stop him."</p>
<p>"But who could stop a time traveling skeleton?"</p>
<p>"I know just the man."</p>
<p>"But the shock of shifting universes might disorient him."</p>
<p>"He can take it. Besides, his sense of justice will lead not lead him astray."</p>
<p>"So Creep!Sans, huh? I guess he's gonna see what happens to punks like him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	ハンサムな探偵対倒錯スケルトン Battle of Pervert Sans!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Creep](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5752618) by [KenyaKetchup (temptedmelibea)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/temptedmelibea/pseuds/KenyaKetchup). 
  * Inspired by [Creep](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5752618) by [KenyaKetchup (temptedmelibea)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/temptedmelibea/pseuds/KenyaKetchup). 



> I'm not sorry.

It was just another sunny day on the surface, wind blowing, sunshine falling, the strong preying on the weak, and the birds singing their daily songs. All was as it should be. It was a beautiful day, soon to be ruined by an ugly-intentioned monster who was hanging outside the window of a house, watching his victim lying on their bed.

“Heheh, the kid’s alone for at least the next 2 hours, the perfect time for me to deliver the BONE to Frisk. Fuck I fucking hate this uncontrollable urge to do this.”

Sans broke down into tears, but quickly regained his posture. Sans was anxious to get into Toriel’s house and rape Frisk and be sad about it. Maybe this time he’ll kill her again. He hated when he goes too far and kills her, forcing a reset. Living with this burden was hard for Sans-  
But it was no time to be feeling sorry for himself, he had to satiate the beast inside him, the one that tells him to fuck his friend against their wishes repeatedly. Sans remembered how much Monster Kid sucks, and with his new-found anger, positions himself a running start at the window, jumps and…

Toriel was out for groceries and doing other motherly things as per her usual routine, leaving Frisk behind to keep to herself until she came back.

“I love Sans, he’s my boyfriend and I like him despite his small flaws.” Frisk said aloud to herself, with no one but the punny skeleton outside to hear her, but she didn’t know that.

“Maybe you should hate him for his other flaws, like fucking you to death.” a small voice in Frisk’s head snarked.

“You’re just jealous.” The voice in her head just sighed at her response.

Just then, Frisk heard crunching noises outside.

“Is that Asgore again? I wish he’d stop stalking Toriel like a creep, I mean what creepy asshole stalks people they care about? He’s a fucking piece of shit and I hate him!”

DYNAMIC ENTRY!

A blue skeleton man falls out prompting Frisk to celebrate. “Sans, you’re here! I missed you! Were you watching me again?”

“Well I guess you could say I’ve bean-stalking you.” Frisk laughs at Sans’s wordplay.

“Okay, now bend over.”

“What?”

Sans slam-jams Frisk onto the bed, rips off her clothes and begins the raping.

“Oh, also I’m sorry about this.” Sans says, crying like a bitch.

“What are you doing? No, wait stop!” Frisk calls for help…

But nobody- WAIT WHAT’S THIS?

 

N-N-N-NOW FIGHT A NEW RIVAL

 

Sans feels a disturbance in the timeline, like something just forced itself into his world. The door bursts open, revealing a handsome blonde man in a trench coat holding a revolver.

“Oh fuck!” Sans has no time before he’s shot in his bone-head, dusting him instantly.

“See, that’s what-” The man starts.

“NO! SANS!”

Frisk breaks down crying at her rapist’s death. The detective looks confused

“Ma’am are you alright? You were being attacked so I-”

Frisk wasn’t listening anymore, they got a blade from their bedside drawer and stabbed herself in the throat to reset and because she was curious about killing herself at times. She cut her throat open, and bled to death.

WHOOOP

Back to before Sans died, he now knows about the man coming and readies his Gaster Blasters. The door bursts open, prompting Sans to blast him, killing the man almost instantly.

“Damn, how much LV did that guy-”

WHOOOP

Back to before Sans died, again? But he didn’t-  
The door bursts open, revealing a man shooting Sans before he can react. Frisk resets immediately. Sans is confused, but readies his Blasters again. The door bursts open, prompting Sans to fire, revealing nothing but a charred wall. The man slowly comes around the corner, hands in the air, smirking.

“Well well well, look who else has that trick.” The man said. Sans is worried, how did this man have to ability to reset?

“Didn’t make it this far in life with just one, and with this ability I can put down any punk who breaks the law. I can even put you down.” The man continued.

“’Press ‘R’ to Restart’. That’s what I see every time I mess up. What do you see?”

The man shoots Sans suddenly, before anyone can answer. Frisk resets again and again as the two fight over a hundred timelines. They go at it over and over, the two fighting causing the timeline to constantly reset.

Finally at reset # 111, they freeze in place.

“Stop this now.”

The world goes dark, both fighters paralyzed by whatever’s talking to them. The next thing they see is each other, instinctively trying to fight, but still frozen.

“You two need to stop this, you are destabilizing the timeline with your constant resets.”

A strange black colored creature stands between them.

“Gaster? Is that you?” Sans asks.

“Yes, Sans. And while I don’t care what you do, I do care when you are abusing resets through your friend. You too, Manny.”

“Heh, who have you been talking to?” Manny asked.

“I know all.” Gaster replied.

“I’ll accept that answer.” Manny shrugged.

“Now, I’m giving you one more shot at this. By that I mean, the next timeline STAYS and I will SAVE over it no matter what, got that?”

Gaster glares at both fighters.

“Sans?”

“Yeah.”

“Manny?”

“Gotcha.”

“Okay I’m turning off the paralyze setting on you two so you can fight once you’re back.”

Manny and Sans regain movement.

“Now remember, you get one-” BANG

Manny fires a shot, catching even Gaster off-guard as Sans dusts into the void.

“What the hell, Manny?”

“You said one more.”

Gaster sighs in disbelief. “Well at least it’s settled now, back to the world with you.”

Manny opened his eyes, the skeleton rapist nowhere to be seen, just a crying Frisk trying to reset to no avail. This must be Gaster, ‘The Dastardly Bastard’s work.

“Well now, that’s really what happens to punks like you.”

Manny turns and leaves the room, proving that even a time warping skeleton is no match for the world’s greatest detective: Manny Pardo.

 

Epilogue

 

Manny steps out from the house and looks around, realizing that this neighborhood doesn't look familiar to him. He searches for a tourist guidebook to get his bearings, which includes a map of the U.S. Or what is SUPPOSED to be a map of the U.S. Manny sees that he's not on any continent they covered in school and realizes the truth.  
He looks around drunkenly as he says, " Wait... this isn't my world. DISAPPOINTED!"

He screams the last word into the sky.

How will Manny adjust to this new world?  
Find out on the next episode of Dragonball Z:

"Frieza Defeated!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, didn't see you there.  
> You know, self-deprecation does not excuse the horrible things you do in life.  
> Sometimes acknowledging your problems and not working on them make you seem even worse.  
> Are you being the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be?  
> But what do I know? I'm just a bundle of text on a computer screen.  
> I might not even exist.  
> You might not even exist.
> 
> Greatest Detective in Za Warudo: Manny Pardo
> 
> That's not related, I just thought it needed to be said.
> 
> Oh yeah this is a parody, forgot to say that.


End file.
